Returning to Normal? – You can’t step in the same river twice.
A new year.
It’s funny how time passes and things try to stay the same but can’t. Work’s a funny environment – one that you often go into feeling like it’s the same every time, but in truth, it really does change.
I’ve been on loan to a different part of the company for about three months now, and tomorrow is my last day there. I’m scheduled to return to my normal position as of Monday.
Back to my normal position, and yet… It’s not going to be the same.
A lot has happened because I’ve been working elsewhere. Oh, it wasn’t that far from where I started out – just a short jaunt from the neighboring building – and yet, everything feels different.
My old group is about to be down two people from when I left it.
It’s going to be less social in the old group since there are so fewer people working there.
My relationships with people in my old group have changed – not necessarily weakening – just different.
I have no idea what’s in store for the future of my old group, and yet I’m being called back.
And I return with ideas – and a mindset to try to present them and rally for change.
The second law of thermodynamics states that entropy is constantly increasing, and we can look at entropy as a sort of chaos in the universe. While inertia keeps bodies at motion in motion until another force acts upon the object, I have come to realize that we, as people in a dynamic social environment, are constantly being acted upon by social forces, even when we’re nowhere near the point of origin of the force. It’s chaos. It’s entropy.
My absence from my normal workgroup has changed them, and me. I cannot deny that. I wasn’t there to affect the change, per se, but changes happened, and they have already exerted new social forces upon me.
My absence from my temporary workgroup will change them, and me. I cannot deny that. I won’t be there to affect the changes, but changes will happen, and will exert new social forces upon me.
It’s strange, to me, how things come to be – how the entropy swirls around, creating change, coincidence, and choice.
I foresee a lot of choices in my future – both pertaining to my job, and my social interactions – both at work and outside of work.
How work affects me is going to affect those around me when I’m not at work. I really feel that I’m a different person socially than I was before I started work at this workplace – and while my core may not be radically different, things I do are changing. How I look at other people is changing. The world changes for me and around me.
Someone once said that you can’t step in the same river twice, because at the passing of each moment, the old river is no more and a new river is born, only for that particular moment. I believe that this is true – and provable – given the radical amounts of variance that appear in the performance of systems, even under experimental conditions, no matter how good the math is, and how many factors are taken into account. There is always a degree of error – a degree of uncertainty – a degree of entropy.
And so, as I step into 2012, I look at the world around me, and realize it’s changed since I last stopped to take a good look. I’ve changed, too, because of it.
And I plan to change even more – to effect change, rather than be affected by it. To take charge of what I’m doing, and where I’m going.
Because I feel like something inside me has awoken, and is screaming to get out – to get out and show the world what I’m truly made of.
Here’s to a new year – 2012 – and all that comes with it.
I say bring it. There’s strength to be found in the chaos.
My 2 yen,
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